Resignation

Project Typist

I still haven't gotten around to trying out the exercise and writing experiment.  Mostly because I'd prefer to be alone when I did it.  I have this crazy image in my head what I would look like; sitting in front of my computer furiously typing for 15 minutes then suddenly I get up and start doing jumping jacks.  After after 50 repetitions I stop and go back to my computer.  This happens 8 times all the while I'm focused on my own little world not saying a thing to anyone.

Sounds a little like something out of a David Lynch film.  Which reminds me I need to work on my backwards speaking.

Meanwhile, like I had ranted about before, I feel as though this project is limiting my ability write.  If I can't find the time and situation to run these experiment I don't write.  In my head I'm thinking, why waste valuable writing if you're not using for the experiment?  On that note I'm on a bit of a kick to just say, screw it.  Or to paraphrase (and tagline) myself from a comment I posted on some gal's blog (see operation blog post coming soon), write irresponsibly.

Sometimes I start to take writing too... seriously.  That's not what I mean, but the point is that I stress out about it, as if it's a job and I have a boss and a deadline and if it's all not done right then I'm going to get chewed out and fire and then no one will want to hire me again.  That's something the plebs do (no offense).  I'm good at what I do, damn good and I don't have to try to be good.  I'm not sitting in the corner with the other struggling writers making out character sheets and worrying about plot points.  I don't spend three years writing a single book (I spend 2 months then don't do anything with it for 3 years).  So what I'm I doing wringing my hands hand and creating drama where there is none.  I am not a high-school kid writing poetry in their journal and being sad because no one will understand why I'm so sad.

I'm good at what I do and the only reason I'm not just writing with reckless abandon is my boss.  And my boss is me.  Like every other boss I'm an idiot, giving ridiculous deadlines, asking for top of the line work and demanding it be efficient and economically viable.

It's time to quit working for myself and start screwing around and having fun.